Altered bullet
by Lololova
Summary: "What if in 3x24 Castle actually saved Beckett but he got shot, how would she react? Would he tell her he loved her? Would she tell him?" - prompt from @naadjjja on instagram, THANK YOU! This fic will be 3 parts. Enjoy, xxx
1. Chapter 1

_Prompt: What if in 3x24 Castle actually saved Beckett but he got shot, how would she react? Would he tell her he loved her? Would she tell him?_

* * *

She couldn't quite believe it. He was gone. Montgomery was dead. And as they were carrying him down in a casket she thought about the speech she'd written the day before, during the night actually. She'd had a hard time sleeping, crying her eyes out. This morning Beckett had stood in the mirror for an hour, trying her best to cover up her lack of sleep, the red spots around her eyes revealing she'd cried. Now she was right there, standing on the podium, about to deliver the speech she'd spent the whole night writing, rewriting and writing again. She cleared her throat, looked down in her papers and looked out over the crowd, all gathered to honor the man who had given his life to save hers. Though, no one could know that. Taking a deep breath she started,

"Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes." She quickly glanced down at her papers before looking up again. "Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory, there are only battles. And in the end, the best you could hope for, is to find a place to make your stand." She paused for a second, before she continued. "And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you," glancing back to Castle she hoped he would understand she knew he had been by her side through everything. "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is..."

"Kate!" Castle's sudden interruption had her gut wrenching, he would never cut her off like that unless...

Then everything happened so fast. One second she was standing on the podium, the next she had been shuffled to the ground with a body on top of her. People were shouting all over and it took about two seconds before she realized what was going on and her cop senses came to life. She opened her eyes to find Castle's face looking down at her with clenched eyes and she immediately pushed him off her only to quickly search down his body.

"No. No, no. Don't be shot, Castle, don't..." her fingers met with something wet, and when she looked there she saw the red substance on her fingers. _No. No._ She looked up at his face again, seeing he was not clenching his eyes anymore. He was looking up at the sky with fading eyes. "Rick, please. Stay with me, Rick. Come on, keep your eyes open, please." She put both her hands on the wound in the side of his chest. Her eyes never left his though, trying to get him to look at her. She noticed the second his eyes landed on hers, their eyes locking like they had so many times before, and fear filled her. _What if he... not him too!_ "Don't leave me, please Rick. Stay with me, okay? You can't... I can't loose you too. I can't..." her voice died out as her tears began to fall. "Don't go. I can't..." she cried out, and she could see his soul slipping away. "No, no, nonono, Rick, stay, stay Rick. I lo..." she was cut off when two pair of hands suddenly grabbed one arm each, pulling her away from him. "No! Stop! Let me go!" She yelled over the top of her lungs, didn't matter she saw the paramedics taking over her place.

The rational part of her brain knew they'd know what to do better than her, they'd know how to save his life, but that didn't stop her from continuing fighting against the two men holding her back, keeping her away from him.

"Kate! Kate! Hey! Calm down, they got this, they'll do everything they can to save him," Espo, or was it Ryan? Or maybe both?, said as they held her firm by her arms.

"No! Rick!" she yelled out, her strength disappearing in the same amount of time it took for him to be pulled further away from her.

Once the ambulance, with him inside, was out of sight her legs gave up and she fell to the ground, her knees hitting hard. Both her brothers sank down with her, trying to talk some sense into her, trying to get her to talk to them. But all she could see was the blood still on her hands. His blood. _Rick's blood_.

"Come on, sweetie, if you get up I'll drive you to the hospital," a woman's voice managed to cut through the haze over her ears. Looking up she saw the voice belonged to none other than Lanie, her best friend, who was currently standing bent down with her hand stretched out in front of her, offering her hand.

Before she could repeat herself Kate took a hold of her hand and let her best friend lead her to her car. Getting into the car Lanie took our baby wipes to clean her hand before throwing the wipes to her and starting the car. Kate looked down at the wipes, at the blood. The red, sticky blood that just minutes ago had been pumping through her partners veins. _How's this even possible? Is this all a nightmare?_ Everything went too slow for Kate, her thoughts were circling around and around and she couldn't understand most of them. Wiping her hands she couldn't get rid of it all, her hands still stained with the red color and she wished she could just cut them off, didn't want the reminder of what just happened. The second they got to the hospital she ran out of the car, Lanie calling after her to stop, to slow down, but she didn't. She couldn't stop, her partner was in there fighting for his life and she couldn't... she just couldn't... she needed to see him, she needed to be with him, she needed to know he was okay.

"Richard Castle! Where is he?! Where is my partner?!" she yelled at the receptionist, even though the poor woman had done nothing to deserve the harsh tone she was giving her.

"Are you family?" the receptionist asked and Kate felt her frustration taking over completely, feeling like she would shoot the woman if she didn't let her in to see her... her partner.

Before she could pounce she felt a hand on her arm, pulling her back, and Lanie stepped forward telling her she got this. There was a sudden ringing in her ears, she couldn't hear a word her best friend was saying to the woman, had no idea what the woman answered back. She couldn't stop thinking about him. _He'd taken a fonting bullet for her! How could he?!_ She felt so betrayed, betrayed by life! First her mom, then Royce, then Montgomery, _oh god please don't let him be next._ She felt her tears stream down her face like a river.

"Come here," the voice getting through to her belonged to Lanie, and she took her arm to lead her to a corridor where she pushed her down in one of the chair standing there.

"No, I need to..." Kate began raising but her best friend put her hands on top of her shoulders, holding her down.

"Kate, we have to wait here, there's nothing we can do, we have to let the doctors do their work."

"I can't... I can't loose him Lanie," she whimpered and she put her head in her hands.

"I know sweetie," her best friend whispered and she felt her arms going around her in a comforting hug. "I know."

She had no idea how much time went by, but her thoughts never stopped running. They had been at a funeral. _Funeral_. Was nothing sacred to these people? And _why on earth_ would he take a bullet for her? _You know why._ A voice kept telling her. _Just like you would for him._ Yeah, but she was police! It was her _job_! Not his!

"Kate!" a familiar voice called and she looked up to see Josh running towards her in the corridor.

 _Oh no_.

"Are you okay?! I heard about the shooting and that you were in the crosshairs." Before she could do anything to stop him he'd pulled her up and into his arms. _Wrong arms_.

His lips kissed in her hair and she suddenly knew exactly how wrong this all was. "No, Josh," she mumbled through her tears, pushing him away.

"What's wrong honey?" he asked, the nickname she'd told him thousands of times she absolutely _loathed_.

"Leave me alone, I don't... we're over," she stumbled across her words, knowing it was absolutely the wrong time and not the right words at all but she needed him to not be with her anymore.

"What?!" he exclaimed, stunned.

" _We're over_." She clarified with a strong voice and stern look, not wanting him to misunderstand any possible way.

He took her hands but she just as quickly pulled them back, not wanting his warmth. _Wrong warmth_.

"This is all his fault you know," Josh said with hurt and anger deeply imbedded in his voice. "If he hadn't opened up your mom's case they wouldn't have been after you, your captain wouldn't be dead." There was so much hatred in his voice that Kate had to take a step back before she found her ground and, very hard, poked in in his chest.

"Don't your _dare_! It's _not_ his fault. Whoever's behind all this, that's whose fault it is! Don't be such a sore loser Josh, I was never yours to begin with so why don't you just walk away. There's no need to try and make this all about you," she said in the lowest, most threatening, tone possible. She had a gun and she was unsure of how far she could go if he continued those accusations.

To her utter relief he just gave her a hateful look before turning away and walking the same way he came. She felt her heart pumping hard, the anger still in her veins. It was _not_ his fault. If it was anyone's fault it was hers! If she hadn't let him back in, if she hadn't let him in at all, he wouldn't be fighting for his life right now. It was supposed to be _her_ in there! _Not him_!

"Where's dad?!" a sudden voice behind her made her jump and she turned around to see the red headed teenager come jogging towards her with the older redhead right on her heel.

Kate opened her mouth to answer but not a word came out of her mouth, to her relief her best friend could see it.

"He's in surgery right now, they're doing everything they can to make sure he's gonna be alright," the M.E. said with a small and gentle smile, though her eyes were filled with worry and sadness.

"What is your take on this? I understand you have medical training," Martha asked with fear clear in her voice, fear she'd lose her son.

"I'm not sure where the bullet hit exactly, but it looked like it took the right side of his chest, so hopefully it didn't reach his heart," Lanie said, and Kate tried to think back.

Right side. Yeah, that seemed correct. He'd had his back to the shooter, his front pressed to hers as he pushed her down. If it's been her that'd been shot, it would've definitely grazed her heart, if not gone right through it. He truly had saved her life. _But why would he do that! He couldn't do that!_ If she lost him, she'd die too. Kate met the blue eyes of the younger Castle, saw how the teen somewhat blamed her for what had happened. She didn't judge those feelings, she had them too.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled on a broken voice, her eyes filling with tears again. She looked away and tried to take control, tried to make them go away. "It's my fault, he shouldn't have..." but Martha immediately cut her off.

"Oh no dear! This isn't your fault at all!" the mother of her partner opened her arms and pulled her in before she could process what was happening.

A mother's love, that's how the hug felt like, and Kate started crying. She didn't deserve it. It took about a minute before the older woman let go of her and pulled her granddaughter into her arms instead, the four women then sat down in the chairs, waiting for anything to happen. Kate had Lanie's arm around her shoulders, keeping her from standing up and pacing the corridor in anxiety, but also to give her the comfort she needed. As soon as her dad came he took over for her best friend, hugging his daughter close and whispering reassuring words in her ear, as Lanie decided to go see if she could find anything more out. Espo and Ryan came just a little after Lanie came back, both with phones to their ears trying to get to the bottom with everything. They told everyone the shooter was gone without a trace, and Kate wanted to scream and shout at the universe for being so rude to her and the people in her life. She was on her way to follow them back to the precinct but pretty much everyone, including the teen, told her she should stay in case the shooter came back to finish the job. Kate was surprised to see Alexis turn against her for her safety, thinking she'd lost the teen's respect the second her father was in a life-threatening situation because of her. Kate felt useless, not being able to do anything but wait. It turned out to become a long night, and even though several people told her, she refused to leave. She fell asleep in one of the chairs with her dad by her left side, Martha and Alexis to her right, none of them wanting to leave before they knew he was okay.

* * *

"Katie."

The voice that had woken her so many times in her youth was once again lulling her into the woken world. Her eyes fluttered open as she started raising her head from her dad's shoulder.

"Huh?" she looked around and the sudden realization of where she was, _why_ she was there, had her immediately stirring wide awake. She quickly noticed both redheads were nowhere to be found and she met her dad's eyes.

"They came to tell us he's out of surgery an hour ago, and just ten minutes ago they came to get Martha and Alexis. I asked if there was a possibility for you to follow in but the nurses said they couldn't let you since you weren't family. Martha tried telling them you were but they disagreed. I told them to go ahead, that I'd wake you up and let you know. He hasn't woken up yet but they're enthusiastic he will soon, and they'll call you as soon as he does."

Kate felt her heart skip a beat, _he was going to be okay_. She sighed out in relief, he had survived the bullet, he had survived the surgery.

"Come on Katie, let's get you home," her dad said and she shook her head, _how could she leave_? "You're exhausted, and you should sleep in your own bed, if they call you to tell you he's awake you'll want to get some good sleep first." He tried reasoning with her and, even though she didn't want to, she eventually agreed. Too exhausted to argue.

To her surprised her dad did not only drive her home but he insisted on staying on her couch, saying he didn't want to leave her alone in case the shooter would get past the car her two partners had insisted on parking outside her apartment. She tried arguing she didn't need protecting, that she had more training than him and even had a gun, but of course her dad was as stubborn as her. It was the look he'd given her that eventually shut her up, the look that told her he hadn't been able to protect her mom and couldn't afford to lose his daughter too. And so she gave him the things he needed to be able to sleep comfortable, as anyone could in a hard couch, and then they said their goodnights. When she was, finally, alone in her bedroom with her door closed she let her eyes tear up again. Burying her face in her pillow to smother the cries she let it all out, silently hoping he wouldn't have any more complications. That he'd continue to _survive_. She hoped Martha and Alexis would be able to stay with him the whole night, just in case he would wake up and need to connect with anyone who wasn't a nurse or doctor. The crying didn't stop until she had fallen asleep with his latest book in her arms, the book that was about them. Now she wished she'd stolen one of his shirts when she stayed at his place after that Nikki Heat bomb freak. She wished she had packed that red shirt with her, the one he'd lent her because she had no clothes to sleep in, the one that had smelled so strongly of him. When she woke up the next day there still hand't been any calls or texts and so she decided to go to the precinct, her dad was hesitant to let her leave but she assured him she would be fine, that he could go home and that she promised to check in with him by the evening.

"Yo, how's our boy?" Espo immediately asked the second he laid eyes on her in the bullpen.

"I got a text from Martha saying he hasn't woken up yet but that nothing's changed during the night," she answered and she could see both Espo and Ryan let out sighs of relief.

"He'll wake up soon, how are you?" Ryan asked and she gave him a look. "Right," he nodded with his lips clenched to a line.

"Where are we with finding the... shooter," she asked, ignoring their concerned looks.

"Nowhere," Espo grunted and Ryan groaned, "absolutely fucking nowhere. Beckett, whoever these guys are, they're pros, not on the map. We found DNA on the sniper but unless we catch him we won't know who it belongs to."

Kate swore under her breath. How was she supposed to be able to keep her loved ones safe if she couldn't find the damn murderer who killed her mom?! How was she supposed to keep Rick from falling into the same fate as her mom? _Damn it_ , she wasn't supposed to make herself cry again.

"We'll find him, Kate," Espo lowered his voice, only the three of them able to hear the sentiment he was allowing to show.

She simply nodded, couldn't trust her voice. The three detectives shook off their feelings and got to work, Kate was filled in with everything they knew so far and set to work. They wouldn't allow her going out, she could still have a target on her back, but she dug into the paper work immediately, checking every little bit of information and trying to find anything they could cross to her own mother's death, or even Montgomery's. Though the later one's was mostly done in her head, no one except their intimate family knew and she was determined to keep it that way. When the clock stroke 3pm her phone started ringing, and seeing Martha's name on it she immediately answered with a voice filled with worry.

"Martha?"

The next two words had her heart racing.

"He's awake."

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _Hope you enjoyed this first part of this small fanfic._ _This small story will be three chapters, and I will most likely try and post the three with one day in between, so chapter two will be published not tomorrow but the day after that._

 _Also this prompt was given to me by naadjjja on instagram, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing your prompt, also I hope the rest of you enjoy it as well! I appreciate every review/comment and like/follow so if you feel like it feel free to leave one, also in case your new to my stories, follow me on twitter for updates on my writing (along with other random stuff) at LololovaX. Seeeeyyaaaaa xxxx_


	2. Chapter 2

Kate stopped outside his door. _What was she supposed to say?_ _How much would he remember? Would he have heard the almost confession? Or had he already been out?_ She took a deep breath in a try to gather herself. Martha had told her he had asked for her, the second he'd seen Alexis was safe, she'd apparently been in the bathroom when he woke, he had asked for her. He'd asked if she was safe. Martha had told him she was, that she'd been there for as long as she could but that Jim had taken her home. Taking one last deep breath she put her hand on the handle and pushed it down, opening the door to walk inside. The second her eyes met his body in the bed she felt herself gasp with relief, _he was alive_. It didn't take many seconds before his eyes met hers, blues met hazels. _He looked so pale!_ She couldn't help but stare, he was alive and well but _god, it had been so close_! What if he hadn't...

"How about we leave you two alone," Martha suddenly said and that's when Kate got sight of the older woman and the teenage redhead sitting by the bedside. "Alexis let's get home and change, these clothes aren't exactly the right mood for your father being here."

Kate then noticed they still wore the clothes they'd worn for her captain's funeral, and Martha was right. It did _not_ fit the fact that Rick was in the hospital, just barely with his life intact. The two redheads said their goodbyes, kissed and hugged the man in bed as gently as they could before they went past her. Martha gently squeezing her bicep as she passed. Kate stood like frozen, the door closed behind her and she had no idea what to say, what to do. She kept staring at him, kept telling herself he was alive. _He didn't leave you_.

"You're staring, I must look like I just got hit by a track. Either that or I have a giant spider on my shoulder," he joked and she scrunched her nose.

"Don't joke, you almost..." her voice died out, and she had to fight the sudden tears filling her eyes. She found herself looking away, didn't want him seeing yet knowing she wouldn't be able to hide it.

"Heey," he gentled out, his tone filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

She couldn't help but let go of a saddened chuckle. "I'm not the one in a hospital bed Castle, _you_ shouldn't be worried about _me_."

"C'me here," he mumbled and she saw in his eyes he wasn't expecting her to actually comply.

But she did. Of course she did. She went straight to the bedside and stood there, right beside him, feeling her fingers tingle with the need of touching him. Though, she wouldn't let her, not yet anyway.

"I'm glad I managed to push you out of the way," he said and a flare started burning in her chest, her eyes stinging.

"How the hell could you take a bullet for me, Castle?!" she didn't exactly yell, but her tone _was_ a mixture of a hiss and a low yell. "I... It was meant for me for god's sake! What if... what if you'd..." she groaned as her tears escaped her eyes and she was about to walk away when his hand grabbed her arm.

His grip was weak and she would've easily been able to walk out of it but she stopped in her tracks instead, if she were to be honest with herself she just didn't want to lose his touch on her.

"I'm here, Kate, I'm not leaving."

His voice was strong yet low, as if he was trying to tell her something without actually saying it, and when she met his eyes she could see the blues all open for him to see into his soul. _He heard her_. That's what his eyes are telling her, he heard her when he was bleeding out under her hands.

"Look Rick, I... you were right, I am... hiding, I am... afraid. When she died... I never wanted to hurt like that again," her voice was trembling, shaking with the fear that she could've lost him before she'd gotten to the place to tell him how she felt. "I-ah, I put up a wall inside, not letting anyone inside. Not even boyfriends," she bit her lip, once again trying to hold back her tears.

"You don't have to tell me this," he whispered but she nodded.

"Then I met you, I don't know how but you found a way to... climb that damn wall, or maybe you dug a hole I dunno," she looked him straight in his blue eyes, soul open, wall down. "I can't lose you Rick."

"You won't. I'm staying," his words were like a promise, a promise he wouldn't ever let her lose him.

Their eyes was on a lock and none of them managed to say anything more before the two redheads returned. Kate was about to leave again when the doctor showed up, telling them he needed to take it easy and needed to be in bedrest for at least one week once he got home. Martha and Alexis immediately volunteered, saying they already lived with him and all. Kate tried sneaking out past the doctor but Rick caught her and pleaded with her to stay, just for a few more minutes. And so she did. After the doctor left Kate said she needed to go, even if she didn't really want to it didn't feel right stealing his attention from his mother and daughter, she didn't want any of them to think she was only there for attention. She could see he didn't want her to leave, he even made her promise she'd come back in the evening, and she could also see some dislike in Alexis' eyes. Again, she didn't really blame the girl, the bullet that had sent her father to the hospital had been meant for her, not him.

The second she stepped her foot inside the bullpen again Ryan came up to her with a questioning look.

"He's okay, more okay than I thought," she told him and she saw Espo nearing, and she repeated herself so he would hear and not start asking more questions. "Where we at with the case? Any leads?" she asked to change their subject, she didn't want to think about how pale he'd looked or how much she wanted to go back.

They talked about the case from then on, focusing on trying to find something, anything, but to Kate's frustration they didn't get anywhere. At the end of the day she was sitting at her desk with her face in her hands.

"Didn't you say something about going to see Castle again?" Espo's voice came from behind her and she jumped at how he'd managed to get there without her noticing. _Damn she was tired_.

"Yeah Beckett, go, we've got it covered here," Ryan piped in and she looked up to see he was watching her from across his own desk.

"We need to find this guy," Kate argued but both her partners shook their heads.

"Go, it's an order," Espo said and Kate gave him a narrowed look.

"Have you forgotten who gives the orders around here?"

"Just go!" Ryan groaned and she let go of an irritated sigh.

But they were right, and she really wanted to go see him. "Shut up," she just muttered as she raised and put on her jacket. It didn't take long before she was out the door and calling for a cab, telling the driver to take her to the hospital. She kept thinking about if he still wanted to see her, if he was still as enthusiastic to have her there or if he'd realized she was the reason he was in there in the first place and despise her for it. Her thoughts also went to the place getting her paranoid, what if something had happened during the hours she'd not been there? What if he had somehow gotten worse? What if they hadn't had time to notify her because they were too heartbroken to remember? Suddenly she was way too jumpy and couldn't get there fast enough. Her belly tightening with the sudden fear, every step in the hospital feeling like it took forever to take. Her heart pounding fast and faster until her hand landed on the door handle and pushed down.

"Kate! You came!" His voice exclaimed with a mixture of happiness and surprise.

She felt herself letting go of a deep sigh filled with relief. When she looked around in the room she was surprised to see the two redheads were nowhere to be found.

"Where's Martha and Alexis?"

"Oh, I sent them home, said I didn't want them to sleep here tonight," he brushed it off, waving his hand in front of him, grimacing when it obviously stung in his chest.

"And they agreed to that?" she questioned, not really seeing his daughter taking that so easy.

"Well, not immediately," he said before he added, "I have a chair here if you want to sit." He pointed to the chair right next to his bed and she bit her lip, moving closer.

When she sat down she watched his hand turn by his side, holding it open in a silent invitation and she couldn't deny the gentle gesture. She let her hand move to his and their fingers almost immediately intertwined, their palms kissing. Thinking of their hands as kissing made her remember the first time _they_ had kissed, _sure_ it had been undercover but first kiss nonetheless.

"Does it hurt? I mean," she added before he could retort something, "Do you get something for the pain? Does it help?"

He scrunched his nose, "It helps I think. I mean, it hurts but I think it would be a lot worse without it."

Her thumb started rubbing his hand in small circles, couldn't really stop herself because it was so _relieving_ to feel him, alive, under her touch. "I broke up with Josh," she revealed in a low voice, his fingers twitching between hers. "He was an ass yesterday, and even though I liked him it wasn't enough, _wouldn't_ ever be enough." Looking into the blues of his she could see the glimpse of hope and _god_ she wished they were at that place when she could just lean in and kiss him. _Not yet_.

"What did he do?" he swallowed, probably afraid she'd kill him for bringing it up but she was just so glad he was alive that she couldn't even be mad at him, at least not for that. She was still a little upset about him taking the bullet for her.

"He uttered things I would never agree on," she said with brush of her free hand in the air, not wanting to say exactly how her former boyfriend had accused her partner of causing the shooting in the first place.

He hummed with a nod, and she found herself trying to smother a yawn. "You should probably go home too, get some sleep. I didn't mean for you to get here this late, if I'd known you'd be away so long I wouldn't have demanded you to come here." She could see he blamed himself and she shook her head. Perhaps he should've expected her being there that late yes, but she was glad he'd forced her to come. If not she wouldn't have been able to sleep, worry for him a constant feeling in her body.

"I'm good," she replied with a smile set on her lips. "I wanna stay," she added a little lower.

"Then stay," he suggested in a whisper and she gave him a questioning look. "I mean, you're police, I'm sure you can think of something to make sure they won't throw you out tonight."

She let go of a chuckle, yeah, she could probably say she was there as a protective detail on him. That way she was making sure he was safe at the same time as she wouldn't have to leave his side. Nodding she slowly moved their linked hands to her face, giving his hand a small peck. She didn't really know what made her do it but she didn't care, and the look on his face was definitely worth it.

"You know, I could always give you some space in my bed if you'd like," he suggested after a few minutes of utter silence.

"If I sleep with you they'd definitely throw me out," she shook her head and when she saw his wide eyes along with his smirk she rolled her eyes. "Sleep-sleep, not sex-sleep." That only got his smirk to widen and she rolled her eyes again before joining in on his chuckle.

They talked a little more, about all and nothing, mostly avoiding the shooting and her mom's case, and when the nurses came to send her home she told them she was protective detail in order to look after him. The nurses was hesitant to her explanation but after only a few minutes of arguing, with her interrogation alike technique, they gave up and let her stay. The minutes turned into hours and Kate found herself yawning more often than not and somehow Rick did manage to talk her into letting him loan her a part of his bed. She feared him moving in the bed would hurt him, but if it did he didn't let her see. Laying on her side, to take as little space as possible, she was glad they had been clear in mind enough to make sure she was on his good side, and not the side he'd been shot at. Once she was laying by his side she felt so at peace, at home, that it didn't take more than five seconds and she was out.

Rick was awake a little longer after she fell asleep though, he couldn't quite believe the woman he had kept falling for in the past three years was sleeping in his bed. _And_ had confessed to not wanting to lose him. He was mesmerized with her and when he had laid awake for an hour just watching her sleep he scolded himself for being creepy. Before he could fall asleep himself though he noticed her hand slowly moving up to him, planting itself on his shoulder as she silently mumbled something in her sleep. He wasn't sure if heard it right, probably imagined it all, but he could almost swear it sounded like 'I love you'. With that on his mind he fell asleep dreaming about a world where they had already taken that step and was enjoying each other at the beach behind his house in the Hamptons, walking the shore and swimming in the sea. He could definitely imagine living like that, and it gave him an idea he couldn't wait to share.

Kate woke up to her name being said in two different ways, one was 'Kate?!' while the other was 'Katherine?', and she wrinkled her forehead as she tried to place who the voices belonged to. _Who the hell called her by her full... oh!_ Her eyes immediately popped open and she remembered where she was, who she was with. She quickly removed her hand from his chest and gently sat up to rub the sleep from her eyes. Then she looked towards the two redheads standing in the room with their eyes slightly widened at the scene before them.

"Hi, Martha, hi, Alexis,"she said a little shyly, slipping out from under the covers Rick had apparently put on her. "I-ah... what time is it?" She yawned and almost lost her balance standing up from the bed in the quick move of hers.

"It's 10am, darling," Martha answered with a smile, her eyes glittering with something Kate could only recognize as mischief.

Rick suddenly grunted and Kate turned her eyes to him, _hadn't he woken to the small exclaims of her name?_ "Wher'd you go?" he mumbled, his hand searching on the side of the bed she'd just been at.

"Uh, Castle, your mom and Alexis is here," Kate informed and saw his eyes flutter open with a small groan.

"Morning dad, we brought breakfast. Figured you wouldn't want the hospital food," Alexis said with a small tease in her voice as she walked up to the bed, the opposite side of Kate.

"Thank god," he replied when she handed him the bag of food.

He immediately opened it and took out a bagel, taking a bite before moaning his satisfaction.

"I should get back to the precinct," Kate mumbled her excuse to leave but once again he stopped her before she could go.

He asked if the two redheads could go retrieve a nurse while he just had a quick word with her and to her surprise both of them immediately went without any questions. The second the door was closed behind them he turned his gaze back to her, meeting her eyes.

"I got an idea, I was thinking I would go out to the Hamptons this summer to make my recovery without the city stress," he began and she felt her heart wrench, if he went to the Hamptons she couldn't visit him. _Was this his way of hiding?_ "And I'd like it if you went with me, took time off and just came along? I know you need to find justice but please, just leave it this once, just for a couple months. They won't be able to know you're with me in the Hamptons."

Her heart stopped at that, he wanted her to _come with_? Was that really such a great idea? What if they _would_ follow her there? Then he'd be in the crosshairs yet again. But again, if she didn't, she wouldn't see him for the whole summer.

"Think about it, come back tonight and let me know what you decide," he gave her a small smile, eyes glimpsing with hope, and she nodded.

Before she went she glanced at the door, his mother and daughter wasn't back yet, and so she leaned in to give his cheek a quick peck. His eyes were still wide when she opened the door and said her goodbyes, meeting the redheads in the corridor on her way out. As she was on her way to the precinct she wondered if they knew his plans, if they'd known he wanted to recover at the Hamptons or if that was an idea he'd come up with alone. Also, she wondered if she'd really be okay with just dropping her search for the shooter in order to stay connected with him. _What if the shooter came after her again and he got in the way?_


	3. Chapter 3

Arriving at the beach house she stared at it with wide eyes, her mouth in the shape of a small 'o'. She had been hesitant at first, going with him, but after she'd told him her fears he'd immediately insisted she'd go with him. He told her she shouldn't be afraid that the shooter would come for her there, because even if they were partners he doubted they'd think she'd take hiding with him. Eventually he'd gotten her to agree, one late night at the hospital when she was once again dosing off in his bed. She knew she shouldn't have been there, especially not in his bed, but she couldn't help it! It felt so safe to be near him, to have her body touching his gently, and he made her feel home. He made her feel as though everything was going to be alright. So she'd agreed. She would join him to his beach house in the Hamptons. Breaking the news to his mother and daughter, Alexis hadn't seemed too excited about it. The teen hadn't exactly told them that, but it was something Kate could see in her blue eyes. Martha had just been delighted and had been excited to hear the news. The two redheads had gone to the house one day before them to be able to stock it up with food and remake the beds, especially making sure the guest room would be ready for Kate to use. Kate had tried to tell them not to go through the trouble, she could do it herself once she got there but of course her partner's mother wouldn't let that happen. 'You're the guest, darling', she'd said determined.

"You think you'll like it here?" his voice breaking through her thoughts as she continued to eye the big mansion.

"Do I think... Castle, this is _huge_ ," she exclaimed, glancing at him sitting in the passenger seat.

She'd insisted on driving, knowing he couldn't and refusing to let a cab driver know they would both be at the same location she'd seen no other choice.

"Well, did I ever tell you I'm a famous mystery writer?" he said in a nonchalant but teasing voice.

She chuckled, deciding to play along, "No, I think you missed that part." Their eyes met and she bit her tongue as she smiled small.

"Come on, I wanna show you the inside," he said with a glimpse of excitement in his blues.

Shaking her head at the childishness she knew his body was filled with, she opened her door and quickly went around the car in order to help him out. He didn't exactly tell her he was hurting but she could tell and she felt responsible for his pain. She should've been the one in pain, _not him_. When he took a step out of the car he grunted at the small pain, but she didn't point it out. If she'd been the one in pain she hadn't wanted him to, so why should she? Alexis met with them in the door, opening it up for them and gave her dad a careful hug before she told him about everything they'd gotten and how she and Martha would be the ones making the dinner that night. Rick tried to argue, saying he was fine but Alexis won that argument pretty easily by simply stating he wouldn't be able to stirr anything without moving his arm which would therefore make his stitches sting. Kate couldn't agree more, she didn't say anything though, didn't dare interfere. There was no way she would give the teen any more reason to despite her being there, even if this argument had been in the teen's favor.

"Let me show you the guest room," he suggested as soon as his daughter walked away with a knowing smile.

"Okay," she whispered and followed him into the big house.

They went slow, each step having his face wrinkle with what she assumed was pain, and once they came into the room she couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"Castle, just, sit down a little," she gestured to the bed. "Please."

"I'm fine," he brushed it off with a wave of his hand but she gave him a look and he conceded.

He slumped down on the bed and she let her bag fall down beside him, quietly started unpacking her things, putting her clothes into the empty bureau. Once she was done they continued the tour of the house and she couldn't stop being amazed about the whole thing. She was glad she'd decided to go with him, even if it meant she had to leave the case behind. The boys had, of course, been all too eager to take it from her, both knowing exactly how deep she could go in the hole unless someone stopped her. They hadn't found anything more and it frustrated the hell out of her. Not to mention they'd met their new captain the day before she went on a leave. Captain Victoria 'iron' Gates. She was nothing like Montgomery. Kate had been on her way to get cut off the case, _and they had only met her for one day!_ She already disliked the captain. Though, Gates _had_ proved her being away for the summer, of course she had said something about it being good for her mental health which Kate did absolutely _not_ like at all. Anyway, she wouldn't let her new captain destroy her... vacation? Getaway?

"Mm, this is absolutely delicious," Kate was interrupted in her thoughts about work once the taste filled her mouth.

Martha chuckled, "All thanks to Alexis, I couldn't cook for the life of me."

"Thank god, no deaths tonight then," Rick said in fake relief and Martha gave him a look while Alexis and Kate tried to keep themselves from laughing.

Kate looked at the teen and when their eyes met she was surprised to see there was no disliking glimpse or whatsoever in those blues. She halfway wondered if the girl had accepted she was there, but decided not to let anything be done yet, the girl could just as easily be trying to hide it in order for her dad or gram not to notice it. It didn't take long before they had all eaten up and while Rick suggested they'd watch a movie Kate retreated to the guest room, saying she was tired and wanted to go to bed and read a little before heading to sleep. It had been a long day, and she'd been the one driving, so she felt like she needed to take a break. She was hesitant to leave his side after having been at his side the whole day but she also wanted to give the family time to be together without her presence. Of course Rick tried to whine and convince her to stay watch the movie with them but she managed to stop his whining with a reassuring but tired smile. He let her go but not without a goodnight hug, and she was more than willing to give it to him. She felt safe in his arms, so how could she even consider deny having them around her? Especially after the shooting. Once she got to her room she left her door slightly open, couldn't help but feeling the need to be able to hear the others in case something were to happen, to know they were okay even if she wasn't with them. Changing out off her every-day clothes she put on grey sweatpants and a NYPD shirt before brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. With a small smirk she took out the Nikki Heat book she had packed and snuggled down in the bed in order to read.

Couple hours later she woke herself up with a small cry, a painful worry filling her body. She was covered in sweat and the remains of the nightmare still fresh in her mind had her getting out of the bed. The book that had been in her lap had fallen to the floor, apparently from her moving around when her nightmare started becoming too real. This time he'd died. _He'd died_ in her arms. He'd been shot in the heart and _bled out_. She'd had to _watch_ as his _life_ went out of his body, how his _soul_ left his eyes.

"He's okay, he's okay," she started chanting in a whisper, so low she was sure no one would be able to hear her. "He's okay, he's just in his room, he's okay,"

She paced back and forth in the room, her anxiety only increasing she went into the adjoining bathroom and started wiping her face with water, trying to cool herself down. Looking in the mirror she was her eyes filled with fear and her heart pumped faster as she recalled the dream over and over again.

"Fuck it," she gasped and dried her face with a towel before she, as silently as possible, set pace for her partner's room.

She tiptoed past the rooms of the two redheads before she reached his room the closest to the stairs. He'd told her he'd chosen that room because he'd always felt a need to be the first one down in case they had an intruder, he didn't want the intruder in his daughter's room before he could protect her. Her hand stopped right before it touched his door handle, rethinking her actions, but her nightmare was too fresh, the _wound_ of almost losing him. So she gripped the handle and pushed it down gently, opening up the door silently. Carefully she snuck inside, her eyes immediately going to the bed, his form moving slightly up and down in time with his breathing. She pushed the door slightly close, not wanting to go out just yet. Her eyes were stuck on him, keeping track on his breathing. Leaning against the wall next to the door she let a few tears of both relief and fear slide down her cheeks. _He's okay._

"You know, scaring is creepy," his rough rumbling had her jumping with shock.

H-he was... "You're awake?" she whispered with a small shame hearable in her voice.

His body was suddenly not laying down anymore but sat up straight, with a yawn he wiped his face. "You okay?" his rough morning voice asked, obviously proving he was awake by his actions instead of answering with words.

She wiped away the tears that had escaped her eyes and pushed herself away from the wall. "I should head back, sorry I woke you up," she mumbled but in the darkness she could see his head shaking.

"C'me here," he said with a gentle voice and she bit her lip, not sure if she should.

She ignored her walls, her old fears, right now the only fear she could focus on was the one of losing him. And she couldn't take that anymore, so she complied. She went forward and carefully sunk into his bed, sitting in front of him.

"What woke you up?"

Biting her lip again she could feel the small taste of iron in her mouth. "I... you died, this time. I just needed to... make sure... it really was just a nightmare," she whispered and he nodded, his hand reaching for hers. When their hands met she felt a spark of life going through her veins. She let got of a breath she had no idea she'd been holding in, _he's alive_. "I was so... I can't lose you, Rick." Their fingers slowly tangled together and she felt all her worry leave her body.

"I know, I heard you, and I'm not leaving you," he said in a confident voice.

She looked up at him, tried to look into the blue eyes through the darkness. Even if she couldn't see them clearly she could still see the adoration they were holding, the love he had for her, and she was more and more sure of him feeling the same about her that she felt for him. He wasn't the playboy he'd been when they first met. He didn't have girls hanging around him anymore, not like that first time. He wasn't looking at every big chested woman like he did in the beginning. He'd changed. And so had she. She wasn't that uptight, all-work-no-fun type of woman anymore. He had showed her what it was like to have fun, to enjoy the small moments no matter how bad something felt. _Even on the worst days there's a possibility for joy_. He had proven that. So many times. He'd picked her up when she felt heartbroken. He'd hurt her by opening up her mother's case, but then he'd proven he had only done it with the best intentions, and he'd said he was sorry. Her mother's case. The one case she couldn't solve. The case that had almost...

"I'm done," she muttered and she saw his head tilt to the side with question.

When she didn't answer his unspoken question he voiced it, "Done with what?", and she hesitated a few minutes before she answered. He waited her out, like the caring partner he was, knowing she would either ignore his question or answer it in her own time.

"I'm done with the case, I can't risk losing you," she clarified with a bite to her lip.

"I won't let you just give up Kate, I'm not gonna watch you throw away the case that made you the best detective in the city. But I agree you should take some time off, let me get back to my feet, and then we'll figure it out together, in secret," he said and she felt her tears come back.

"What if they come back? You can't risk your life for me again Rick," she drew in a quick breath at the thought.

"And you can't live with the constant target on your back, I won't lose you either," he argued. She felt small droplets leave her eyes, go down her cheek, and before she could wipe them away with frustrated hands he had already moved his free hand to her face. He cupped her cheek and let his fingers smoothly glide up and down her cheek, wiping away the tears as it soothed her. She was surprised how much she'd let him in these past few weeks, he was literally sitting in front of her while she was silently crying. She was being _vulnerable_ in front of him and for the first time since her mom died she didn't feel weak showing someone her pain. She actually felt strong for finally being able to be herself with him, to finally let him in like she should've long before she got together with the doctor. Even before detective Demming came along.

"Can I sleep here? I mean, only if you're okay with..."

"Of course! Perhaps that can keep both our nightmares away," he cut her off and she felt her eyes widen.

"You had a nightmare?" she questioned and he nodded. "What about?"

Through the darkness she could see a small smile set on his lips and he pulled on her hand to make her lie down in the bed. It didn't take long before they were lying close together under the covers, like they had during some of the nights in the hospital.

"I dreamt it was you, and not me. I dreamt I was too late. I dreamt how you pulled away for the whole summer, said you needed time to heal, a few days, but never called me. Three months and you showed up at my book signing scheduled this fall," he told her and she felt her heart sting.

"I'm sorry," she whispered but her shook his head.

"It didn't happen, it wasn't you. You're here, in my arms, and I know you have walls, but I can't help hoping you'll stay here until they're down," he only whispered his hopes, as if he was afraid to say it louder. As if saying it louder would make her go away.

But she was done with that too. Done with pulling away.

"Rick?" she pulled herself up on her elbow to be able to look down at him. She was finally close enough to see the emotions in his blues, and she saw he was scared she would push him away now, that his words was too much for her. Quite the opposite. "I-I love you," she confessed with a stumble of words, and she saw his eyes get wide with shock. "I think I've loved you for a while, and I'm sorry you almost had to die to find out. I love you," she said more clear and a wide grin broke out on his lips.

"I love you too Kate," he said, not quite a whisper but not much louder. It was loud enough for her whole body to feel so much lighter than she thought was possible.

Leaning down Kate felt his arms tighten around her waist, pulling her closer, as she let their lips touch in a small kiss. She pulled away only to see his reaction, a smile so gentle she felt all giggly inside. His right hand moved up her arm until it landed with his fingers gently placed by her neck, pulling her down to kiss her again. This time they deepened the kiss, a static flowing through her veins, butterflies moving around in her belly, and she felt his other hand, the one still on her waist, pull her body halfway on top of his. She couldn't stop the moan he pulled out from her throat with the way he moved his tongue with hers, rubbing it in a way that had her insides flip out, her mind going blank. The hand on her neck tangled with her hair, messing it up and she couldn't help but totally ignore how her hair would be impossible to untangle in the morning because she didn't care. All she cared about was him. The love she felt radiating from his whole soul and being, and she hoped he could feel hers. The sudden grunt had her immediately slowing down, her lips pulled up into a smile as she drew away, her teeth biting the lower lip.

"We should wait, let your wound heal first," she breathed out, smile so beautiful his heart skipped a beat.

"I don't wanna wait," he half-whined, but she could see the smile mirroring hers.

"I know, but it'll be worth it," she said, her words both a tease and a promise.

She wasn't going anywhere. And they had a whole summer to figure everything out. Together.

* * *

 _The End._

* * *

 _A/N: I know, I know, too short. But in my defense this was supposed to only be a simple one shot so... Anyway, thank you all for reading, reviewing and favoriting! Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Now, for next I will take a small break, I have one more short story which I'm working on but since it's not finished yet I have decided not to start publishing it... yet. I'll update on my twitter on the progress/when I start publish it, thanks again and see you later! xxx_


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